Hi I know this is old writing but I just wanted to respond to it.

I think it is important to differentiate between "it is transphobic not to have sex with trans women" and "it is the result of a cisnormative society that trans women are not considered women." The quotes you pull don't necessarily tell lesbians to do anything different than what they are already doing. No trans woman wants lesbians to force themselves into sexual encounters they are not comfortable with. However, what we are saying is, like how it is the result of societal racism that some white lesbians don't date black people (even though, technically, if a lesbian is not attracted to black people, they don't have a choice in the matter), it is the result of societal cisnormativity that trans women are not viewed the same as cis women in regards to sexuality. Cisnormativity creates a lack of attraction to trans women in cis lesbians.